No matter how hard it
is, don’t show your feelings
Because darlings these
days,
There is no trust and
humanity, Human sucks
Learn how to fake a
smile and how to force a laugh,
Because it’s so much
easier than explaining what’s wrong with you.
Aye Mates!
Let’s do #AMwithChelle for today post. #AMwithChelle is a
series where I’ll be posting what’s been on my mind late at night or before I
go to sleep, let’s just says it’s not that beautiful and kinda dark. I’ve been
battling with my 3AM thoughts lately. Well all the time to be honest. I deal
with my 3AM thoughts since I was in junior high. I know it’s weird for a person
like me to write positive encouraging words like my previous post. But I’m a
human too. I broke down too, at one day I can be the most positive person but
one day I can be the most negative person ever. Especially during my period,
I’m the most sensitive and emotional person ever. I cried all the time because
of these 3AM thoughts. But that’s life rite?
One of them is regarding how to express my true feelings to
people with no fear of being judge. One night I thought to myself whether what
I said or done has ever hurt people or they actually secretly judging and
hating on me. What if my stories and my thoughts annoy people I asked myself.
Then I thought isn’t it better to just get along with people? Instead of
arguing with my own opinion why don’t I just go with what they think? Isn’t it
easier to fake a smile and force a laugh?
I’m afraid I’ll end up losing the people I love if I don’t
go with their opinions. Even though they never said anything about it but my
brain have its own thoughts. I tried my best to express my own self and
feelings day by day. But deep inside I kept on thinking whether I did something
wrong or no. I know I said what other’s think about you doesn’t matter but what
if my 3AM thoughts keep on haunting me? I shake it off millions of times but I
guess I’m only human. Sadness is a part of feelings rite? You can’t be happy
all the time, this is life. It’s a fact.
Any thoughts mates? Much appreciated doe.
-Cheer, Michelle
Snapchat & Carousell: Booitsmichelle
